Missing my best friend

I miss James so much. I miss having my best friend here with me all the time. I miss him so much and can not wait until I am back in his arms again.

I want to run away

So today has been a pretty hard day. It just seemed like the kids did not want to do a thing I asked, I had to fight with them to pick up their toys, Zoe kept squealing really loud, and then she broke my new warmer top which I got last Wednesday so haven't even had it for a week. 
I think with just so much going on, it has just been building and building. And with the kids acting like this it just makes me miss him even more.
I think I just need to get away for a couple hours, kid free, and relax. I have not been without the kids in months. I have barely been out of the house except to go to physical therapy and errands here and there. Really looking forward to next month going home and just taking a couple hours to myself while the kids are with my parents. I think I will be getting a medi and pedi and just relax. I love the kids to death but I just need a little break.
What I really need is just to have my husband home with me again, I miss him so much. I wanted to be able to call him and talk to him so bad today but I can't. I have to wait for him to call me when he is able to. The only thing that keeps me going sometimes is just picturing homecoming day, that first kiss in so long, that first hug.
And I aint going to lie, I miss just having someone else to talk to in the house, talking to kids all day every can start to drive you crazy. I feel bad because people probably think I am crazy and talk way to much because when I am around adults, I just start talking and can't stop. I think that has to do with the fact that I know that as soon as I leave, it is back to hearing nothing but the kids. It's sad, I love my daddy so much and I am used to calling him once a day but I have caught myself calling my daddy two, three, even four times a day just to have someone to talk to and to hear someone elses voice.

MIA

So alot has gone on since my last post. My wonderful husband deployed, I lost a good friend to suicide, my baby sister almost died, so much has happened since he left. Since he left we have been taking it day by day, some days are better than other. Today has been one of the other days. Today has been hard, some days like today it seems like everything piles up. The kids weren't listening, Zoe got into my makeup once again and come downstairs while I was doing dishes, with mascara all over her arms and legs. It was like everything today just made me cry. It was a hard day. I am just missing him so much tonight. I want to talk to him, I want to hear his voice, I just want him home. I try to keep the kids in good spirits but it is really hard sometimes, I hate seeing our kids suffer like they are. I hate hearing Zoe come up to me in tear telling me that she misses daddy, and to see Cory have held it together so long and to just break down. The things that most people take for granted are the things that I miss the most. Just to be able to lay next to my husband at night and to be able to have his arms wrapped around me. To be able to text him or pick up my phone and call him through out the day. I miss just driving down the road and holding his hand while I drive. I miss everything about him, I miss my best friend. I feel like part of me is missing, I worry about him all the time. I have problems sleeping and problems eating, I just don't have an appetite. I just miss him so much. I want him home down. Everything reminds me of him. I can't wait until the day comes when I am running back into his arms and to feel his arms wrapped around me tight and to see the kids really happy again.